9/29/2005

Sweet Poison

I bought her a rose...
A single white rose (freshly ordered by the company)
Attached a card with the note "Just Because..."
Left it at reception. it now sits at her desk.

And they say you're gonna get hurt
And they say you're in too deep
And they say you're doing this all wrong...
And they say... you're gonna get hurt.

Still I take another sip of sweet poison.
Sweet to the tongue and bitter to the heart,
when jealousy and insecurity takes over.

Still I take another sip of sweet poison.
Telling myself that it's ok to be burned -
the ends justify the means
The consequences are minimal if the smile on my face
stays at 100.15 maximum.

Still I sip sweet poison
Holding her hand in the morning
Clutching my stomach in the evening
and waiting for the cold sweat to pass at night.

A sucker for punishment?
An optimist swimming in naivety?
They say you're gonna get hurt while I sip some more
of this poison.

Y?

© 28:09:05

9/23/2005

Faith

Faith in anything outside of God and the conscience
ability to push your self forward, is hazardous to
your brain cells.

We have faith in so many things that our very
existence seems meaningless and frivolous without said
things that ARE meaningless and frivolous!

I lost my phone. My precious Motorola v300 camera
phone and even though it wasn’t working – couldn’t
call out or text anyone – it was still an integral
part of my life. Even if I’m going to the
neighbourhood shop, I’d take the phone into my hands
because I considered it most precious to me.

Ah, but now, it is gone and I am like a fish out of
water to some extent. That phone held pictures and
numbers of peoples/places and things that meant a lot
to me. I wish my phone were here…

The funny thing is, whenever I got a new number, I
automatically put it in the phone without so much as a
second thought without even using the God-given brain
I have to memorise such numbers. I had Faith that the
numbers were safe as long as my phone was safe. I
believed that the phone would take care of that which
I held precious without considering that it was really
me/my memory banks 0- not the phone – that was
entrusted with that responsibility.

I jokingly say that the universe knew I needed a new
phone, but I miss it because of what it represented….
A safety net I guess – I dunno really. But what I do
know is that trying to remember even the simplest of
numbers has become a veritable nightmare because I put
phone over memory bank.

Faith in anything outside of God and the conscience
ability to push your self forward, is hazardous and
maybe even remarkably detrimental to your mental
State.

© 16:06:05

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9/20/2005

R.I.S.E

When I Realise I can Surrender Everything... that I
need not always be at war, then Life will be a lot
more like Living.

When I Remember I am Special to Elohim... I will seek
him more and not the constant approval of mere
mortals. For though they oft times mean well, their
eyes remain blind to how Elohim sees me.

When I Rely on the Intuitive Spirit, Everything will play out perfectly. For Spirit knows a thing or two
that I fail to understand but being the Teacher He is,
He goes over the lesson one more time.

When I learn, then I R.I.S.E.

© 20:09:05

__________________________________________________

9/16/2005

Sham - man

do u see the realness?

The smile he carries wraps round bout him like a
cloak.

His lips spew forth magical words that bubbles in the
human heart.

Village teacher never learning. Peacemaker never
pacified.

Something about him is as real as the mask he carries.

He is not a Shaman... he is the sham-man.

do u see the realness?

© 16:09:05


__________________________________

9/13/2005

Happiness

a dollar sale with friends (thank you El)
• lunch with sweet people
• waking up to find all your limbs going what they are SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!
• Ave Maria for no real reason
• thinking of Christmas in September
• playing Christmas Carols in September
• looking into the face of those that inspires you
• looking into the face of the one who MEANS SOMETHING to you
• the knowledge that the day is NOT beyond God's Control
• breakfast
• lunch
• laughter
• peace (yes. a strong sense of peace can be real happiness)
• making someone's day
• no strings attached
• pure motives
• freedom to be
• being a grown-up without losing the kid
• saying I LOVE YOU
• hearing God say it back to you audibly (his voice)
and in-audibly (sunrise, wind, rain, music, everything!)

Happiness is what you make of it.
Happiness is when you open your eyes.
© 06:09:05

__________________________________________________

9/09/2005

the women of my life series END


the doorway
Originally uploaded by dapoetspeaks.

They have all opened a door for me...
They have all opened a door to me.

The value of friendship.
The power of love.
The stupidity of love.
Understanding women.
Understanding myself.
What works and what doesn't.
Teachers and assignments (one day I’ll explain that theory)

In the quest to be a better person... a better man, they -and countless others - make the trip worthwhile.

Ayanna, Mod (buddha), aunty-Sheila, Savi, Charlene (d other Capricorn), Shelly, Paula (u rock babe!) Reshma, sparkle, Candace, Sabita, René, Wendy... those mentioned over the series and those too numerous to mention

They have all opened a door for me...
They have all opened a door to me.

9/07/2005

the women in my life series pt09...

Marissa…

The story of our friendship began with a mutual
dislike (and I’ll leave it there).
But I have to tell you, over the years, I would
be a little more twisted without that chick…

A listening ear without fail.
A grudgeless soul. A guileless spirit.

The drink of water that refreshes after I am poured
out…

Thx for her!

Blessings to her!



______________________________________________________

9/02/2005

the women in my life series pt08...

René...

( I figure since I'm baring my soul, might as well
bare all. FunnyI wrote this for for her once)

It is better to write than it is to speak at times.
The pen understands what the tongue doesn’t have a
clue about at times.

So here’s what the pen says:

You intrigue me… beyond everything, you intrigue me

I’ve been carrying that thought for the last little
while but never seems to be a good time to reveal that
to you, so when I did last week, it came out as a
by-the-way concept when you deserve more than that.

I tell myself that I rush into too much, that I make
too much mistakes, but it’s like this: if I know that
the possibility exists… what’s one more?

Trying to sound intelligent every time I’m with you
and what I get instead is a babbling fool who craves
you.

Funny. A speechless poet. It’s classic really.

Now this is where I do that whole adult thing and say
this: Renee Dass I like you. There’s something about
that smile that I can’t help but adore. You just… are
and I can’t help but wonder.

But at the end of the day, it is useless if you don’t
feel the same. And that’s cool too.
That’s cool too. Really.

__________________________________________________
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9/01/2005

the women of my life series pt07


green fizz
Originally uploaded by dapoetspeaks.

Elspeth....

(As I write this, Coldplay's Clocks is playing in the background. perfect!)

This picture is labelled "green fizz". It gives me that Sprite feeling. Quite like Elspeth.

There isn't a thing that she does that isn't refreshingly real. A universe of talent that stretches from one field to the other, her very life is (I believe) continuously bubbling over... refreshing those she comes in contact with. See for yourself: www.nowiswow.blogspot.com

Tracy J Hutchings
© 01:09:05