10/28/2005

Open


the doorway
Originally uploaded by dapoetspeaks.
I was safe. I was in love with a dream and that was ok. I knew that the dream was too high in Heaven to touch and that was ok. I was safe. I had no real qualms, no real issues, and no overly messy stress. I was safe!

And then one day, some stroke of Wisdom told me that “hey! You need to open up to new opportunities! The right girl is out there waiting for you.” And I listened. I… opened up!

Open up to new opportunities and let consequence throw a fast ball at you from the opposite end of the cricket field… defenceless and “open” to everything.



So here I am, moving from day to day “open” to everything the universe throws at me. Like her. Here I am high, low, tight chested, cynical, romantic, jealous, righteous, conflicted… and human.

I hate being human. Not in the literal sense, but the thing about being human is the appropriate falling for every rising. The Ying in my Yang, if you will.

If I stay in my dream I will never be truly hurt, but at the same time I may not be truly happy – miss out the best thing in my life. Of course, on that journey to find, I leave myself open to the elements… in whatever form they come.

A falling in the Rising… Too much Ying in my Yang!



I open myself to God – this leads to decisions to be made that my oft-stubborn heart does not hear.
I open myself to poetry – my writing gets better but the thoughts sometimes scare me.
I open myself to Wisdom – but wisdom often comes from Knowledge and Knowledge – experience so…

The flipside to the gold coin is this:
I was safe but was I satisfied?
So maybe all this tight-chested drama DOES SERVE some purpose!

safe but not satisfied! Open but defenceless



Tracy j h
©28:10:05

10/24/2005

the sword - formation


swirl
Originally uploaded by dapoetspeaks.

another from "behind my eyes"
---------------------------------------

There was a medical symbol:
• Two snakes wrapped around pole
• There is a wing on either side (of pole)

The symbol turned upside down and became a sword. The snake's eyes are pure jade on the sword (now somewhat golden).

Beautiful sword from a medical symbol

I remember the height of my anger; I remember throwing the sword away lest I use it on someone (s).


Images?
Thoughts?
Things from subconscious level?
Or just... a sword?


Tracy J H
24:10:05

10/20/2005

Beneath My Eyes


swirl
Originally uploaded by dapoetspeaks.

random thought about things seen when i close my eyes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is a road.
A narrow dirt road, with grass on either sides of it.
The dirt is a dusty brown yellow something. At the end of the road, there are two poles – one on either side of the “grassy bank” as it were.

I move slowly to it.
I feel myself rushing closer to that edge,
rushing the scene and I am told to slow down.

I see images of similar and dissimilar things that rest in my subconscious
and I am told to focus on the road (sounds like my driving instructor).

The road ends and there is a steep decline.
It’s as if the world really is flat.

10/19/2005

Lost To Me

Straddle the fence…
Curiosity grows erect and trembles
as passion takes over logic
and reason is denied and replaced with temptation
so grand
so powerful
infinite finiteness, whose life covers your mouth with
a sated kiss till weakness is all you know in the
confines of your bones…

Tracy J Hutchings
© 19:10:05



Heaven only knows the full meaning of certain thoughts. this one though "inspired" remains lost to me.

10/18/2005

Doves & Blackbirds 2

Wisdom rests his head near my ear, a gentleman Dove
rarely screeches.
And when he flies, the crow cries, but Peace never
leaves his side.
My Heavenly Dove, sent from above.

What’s this I fear?
There’s a picking near my ear and I feel it ever so
clear:
Insecurity, Jealousy and the whiff of something more;
Strains of Poe filter through, “never more”.

Rage rises to his perch. Behold black wings spread.
Halted he remains as my Dove screeches instead:
“Let Wisdom take over, from the mind on your shoulder,
to the shoulder of your mind.”

And I see it as clear as day
‘choice’ winds blow my way
decision time is near… CHOOSE.
The Emissary of Peace, or The Emblem of Fear.

Wake up!
The trance is over! No one lays on my shoulder.
Yet Wisdom and Peace and Fear still hover… is it over?

Tracy j Hutchings
© 30:09:05

10/14/2005

Doves & Blackbirds 1

I stand in the centre of two factions…
Opposite, different, dissimilar…and winged.
I stand in the centre of two factions…
The Dove And The Blackbird.

My shoulder, like my mind,
lay open to receive the goodness of what God has to
offer.
And so they settle, fluttering feathers come to a halt
as Dove imparts Wisdom and Blackbird squeals.

My rage rises and touches his feet
And black air, black wings spread out.
Now fly my aggravation! Destroy the hateful nation!

Wisdom remains silent. Never moving. Never flinching.
Standing still on the shoulder of my mind.



the conclusion of the matter, next...

10/12/2005

Alive



  • Alive

  • Joints hurt

  • Brain Aches

  • Too much thinking

  • Too little doing

  • Must Awaken

  • Move Forward

  • Be ALIVE

  • Be who I am

  • Must Choose

  • Live or Die

  • Dove or Black bird

  • Alive...



Change is calling. Must shed skin, shake off this (or these) feeling (s) within.

10/03/2005

Death must not take one ounce of you alive.

blessings!