11/03/2005

Stages of Terror

Pt1.
They say do it even though you’re fearful.
They say fear is an evil spirit that invokes emotion.
They say fear stunts growth…
All these things I know and stil, l sit here.
Maybe she’s right – maybe I do think too much.

Pt2.
The sound in my mind tells me to step up.
In the calmness of itself I hear, I see cricket
analogies.
The batsman must walk unto the pitch in order to bat.
He cannot stand there wondering if he will fail – he
must go.
Fours, sixes or duck… he must go. I must go.

Pt3.
The nervousness in my system threatens to jump out and
swallow me whole.
Yet the room, the conquest no longer seems so large.
Air condition magnifies the cold emanating from my
hands.
I say to her “are you excruciatingly busy?” No –
Step up to the pitch…

Pt4.
Dance with me.
What?
I realise I didn’t get a dance from you on Monday
night so –
Laughs
And suddenly, it isn’t a terror anymore.

Pt5.
What good does it serve, when the night calls, when
the night comes?
And disillusionment and disappointment slip into bed
As you realise this feeling, this terror is the
unfulfilled.
This terror is … “What If?” commonly disguised as
fear?

Get on the cricket pitch…

Tracy J H
©03:11:05

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