The Calmest Calm...

The calmest calm in two weeks happened on Saturday...
I bought film for my camera
:-) :-)


Today's Weather Report

Sea Me
Fair to Fine

No isolation
Thunder storms gone
Thunder storms gone
Thunder storms gone around the block and back again!

Chest Shaking
Cycles of cyclones
Tears that rain
Tears that rain
Tears that reign...

Snap out of it!
Seek the Son
Light, Right breeze...
Warmth not Drought
Warmth not Drought
Cause I need it...


Today in The Universe (Special Mystic TV Report)

In the space of one weekend I have moved from Complete Adoration to Confounded Annulment.
I am mystified. Beyond belief I am mystified by the turn of events. The annoying thing about all of this is that I had a sneaky suspicion that something was amiss but... I discarded the thought, I didn't listen to the
Voice of Protection. In retrospect, God had sent me clues, people with wisdom - correction a person with wisdom... one of my best friends, the R.

I had thought that this one was worth waiting for. Was worth fighting for. Was worth transformation for. Transformation? Why would you want to transform for a mortal? Because I thought she was the one instead of one-of-many.

It seems to be a going trend of mine to give my heart away to the wrong person. And I don't just mean a girl. Time after time you go out of your way/stand up for/protest with and pray for people... friends in need, only to be kicked in return. It is for this reason, I am beginning the eradication process of the cancers in my life.

I wil be the first to admit that in the beginning I may have moved prematurely. But having learned from that - or THINKING that I had learned from that [chuckle] I now moved with patience and timing, setting my sights on a future goal - August...

August would be the culmination of things where decisions would be made and things revealed.
August would be the make or break.
August was where all my intentions were set.
Of course, now August has gone from me. All my love, all my strength, all my... whatever dissapearred. It is just another month in the year.

I really thought that we were getting closer. Little things started to manifest itself and I felt "right! proceed to August!" - yeah right.
I really thought that my intentions were in the very least appreciated - I know differently now [chuckle].
I really thought that the fear that I felt in the back of my throat was unwarranted. It was in fact justifiable. Classic really.
I really thought... above everything else... that I was wise. Not arrogantly wise but, I mean at least fairly, right?
SHE has proven otherwise.
SHE has proven otherwise.


Remembering... him

Originally uploaded by dapoetspeaks.

these are my confessions


I dreamed I was taken
from my window and
ascended upwards,
upwards to the vast universe.

He was there, walking
with me. Taking me upon
a starry, glassy staircase
higher... and higher.
I was comforted. I looked
down and my fear of heights
returned to me. So he placed
a soft cloth over my eyes and
we continued. Me following blindly.

And he told me his name...
a honey dipped melody
Abri - el

Over and over Abri - el
I pray that name be blessed

tracy .j. hutchings

So about a yr later, I find out that he was one of the seven Angel Princes that was kicked out of Heaven (he actually was the sixth prince). I felt like a fool. I was devastated for weeks.

There's still a part of me that yet believes that his full meaning is undiscovered but i can't shake the fright I felt when i learned the truth about this here angel.

Behold The Angels (?)
Beware The Angels (?)


Carnival Confessions

It happened this way.

For the first time in my twenty-four years in the universe I wanted to give it all up to be with her. Just to be with her and this would be all well and wonderful if I knew… if I knew but I’m not too sure. I’m just not too sure.

It happened this way.

Carnival week, me, getting into my music and everything was fine. I had planned since the beginning of the year that if I didn’t take vacation round carnival I’d just laze around anyways with a stack of dvds, some snacks and a book. Or two. Or maybe I’d finally pick up my regulations booklet and learn/memorise for the exam anyways.

What I hadn’t planned on was to wake up with this pain in my heart because “she” was not with me. Or rather “she” would not be with me. She’d be playing mas in the streets and I’d… I’d be doing the above.

Everything, everything I would’ve given up to be with her. There I said it out to the universe. I felt like I could give up every living belief I knew/trusted/walked with to be with her.

Pray that that feeling never overtakes you.
That feeling of lack-of-oxygen because you can’t be with the one you… love.
Love? I can’t even be sure that it’s the same with her and I’m bidding my time, holding my tongue and hoping against hope that when I do open my mouth it will be right.

It happened this way.
It was Carnival Saturday evening. I’m at the grocery getting my vitals. Now usually, if I don’t have a car I’d just pay a taxi to take me back home – give him a lil $45/$50 ya know. Saturday however, the cars were… otherwise antisocial and I cursed. Used words I claim don’t exist. When I did get one, a maxi impatiently honked at us and I cursed more. My chest was ready to burst and at that moment how I wished I knew a spell to cast on the damn maxi conductor for aggravating me more.

It happened this way and I wonder if this falling has to do with a girl or if the girl has to do with the falling. Same difference really but it scared me… it scares me how far I’ve come (or gone for that matter).

It happened this way that this morning I wake with a joy in my soul, hear a news report (fight in Poison's Band) get scared, sent her a text (tell me you’re ok tell me you’re safe), get no response and decide F-DAT! Till she walks in, tired but safe and says she didn’t play with Poison (switched Sunday night to another band) and I’m like “Thank you God”

It happened this way… tears in my eyes and I still don’t know what happened.



Tracy j h